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PostPosted: Wed Mar 13, 2013 11:38 am 
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Joined: Fri Jan 20, 2012 2:16 pm
Posts: 325
Location: Here
This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart. While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house.

The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand. Her
husband arrives home at 5:30 and smells the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat. He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at the same time.

He goes over and asks her if she is OK. She replies yes. He asks what she is doing. She replies that she wanted to prove to him that not
all blonde women are dumb and she wanted to do it by painting the house. He then asks her why she has a ski jacket over her fur coat. She replies that she was reading the directions on the paint can and they said....

FOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO COATS.


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 14, 2013 12:11 pm 
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Joined: Thu Jan 19, 2012 2:45 pm
Posts: 2935
Location: Compton
hahaha they never get old.

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PostPosted: Fri Mar 15, 2013 12:00 pm 

Joined: Thu Jan 19, 2012 4:13 pm
Posts: 1940
It's funny how some people think it's ok to ask stupid questions but get miffed when they receive an equally stupid answer ... you be the judge ... we were due to go out but I had been in the garden so I jumped in the shower for a quick scrub, she walked in and asked "Are you having a shower?" I replied "No, I'm filming a scene for a porn movie" ... The fight is in it's third day now with no sign of a truce.


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 15, 2013 12:07 pm 

Joined: Thu Jan 19, 2012 4:13 pm
Posts: 1940
"I'm on holiday in Australia with my girlfriend and she's been stung on the minge by a hornet...now her vagina has completely closed up !!!"

"Bummer mate"

"Great idea ......... Thanks mate ! !"


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 25, 2013 12:17 am 
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Joined: Thu Jan 19, 2012 6:21 pm
Posts: 970
:lol: :lol: :lol:

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PostPosted: Thu Mar 28, 2013 2:54 pm 
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Joined: Thu Jan 19, 2012 6:54 pm
Posts: 566
Location: Dakabin, QLD
During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the pastor with an unusual offer: “Look, I’ll give you $100 if you’ll change the wedding vows. When you get to the part where I’m supposed to promise to ‘love, honor and obey’ and ‘be faithful to her forever,’ I’d appreciate it if you’d just leave that out.” He passed the minister a $100 bill and walked away satisfied.

On the day of the wedding, when it came time for the groom’s vows, the pastor looked the young man in the eye and said: “Will you promise to prostrate yourself before her, obey her every command and wish, serve her breakfast in bed every morning of your life, and swear eternally before God and your lovely wife that you will not ever even look at another woman, as long as you both shall live? ”The groom gulped and looked around, and said in a tiny voice, “Yes,” then leaned toward the pastor and hissed: “I thought we had a deal.” The pastor put a $100 bill into the groom’s hand and whispered: “She made me a better offer.”

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PostPosted: Sat Mar 30, 2013 8:12 am 
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Joined: Thu Jan 19, 2012 2:45 pm
Posts: 2935
Location: Compton
Lol :)

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